I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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