He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
