You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
God, you're like boner-b-gone
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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