But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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