I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
is it fun? or sober?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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