So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
