I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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