PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
