If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
