Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
