Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
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