Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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