ugly people sure do ruin things
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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