id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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