Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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