Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
false alarm. still invincible.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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