you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
