thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
