I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
