Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
We don't watch enough power rangers
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
