Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
