Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
