Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
