nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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