Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
He passed out mid-signature
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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