he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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