Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
