Plan B is the new Plan A
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I would fuck him just for his dog
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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