You're my little dorito
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
