Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Pants are for mortals
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
