I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
