I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
