We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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