Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
