Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
