I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
