I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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