it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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