why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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