Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
