If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
