it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
