Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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