god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
