I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
