you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
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