If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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