If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
