i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
