Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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