Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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